Ode to Coffee Poop By Taylor Williams

Dedicated to my dear friend Wendy


Here I sit in English class,
Still not angry
With my ass

But then my tummy starts to rumble
What is this?
It must mean trouble

I look again at the time
15 minutes left
Who cares about the rhyme

But then I’m seized with pain so sharp
Please God please,
Don’t let me shart

As I sit and squirm and wiggle
The teacher goes on
My leg starts to jiggle

Now there is 5 minutes to go
Can I make it?
I do not know

So finally the class is done
So for the door
I begin to run

I fly down the stairs
And to my car
Followed by questionings stares

I floor the gas
I go so fast
Everyone on the road I pass

Trying to drive, but I’m in such pain
I really hope
My efforts are not in vain

At my house I arrive with glee
Through the front door
Why God me?

Now here I sit here filled with relief
My prayers must have worked
For this did not end in grief